I was browsing through my matches on Match.com and I realised despite being on the site since 2014 I've had little to no views and only 2 people have added me to their favourites. Women must really hate me. Even when I go on the bus they screw their faces up at me (particularly the … Continue reading Stupid and Hated
Me and my mate Dave (He's a bit dangerous, don't y'know?) were in school when we need a whiz. We made our way to the bathroom and stepped in front of the urinals. Dave looked at me and said, "Do you remember how we're supposed to do this?" I unzipped my fly and then turned … Continue reading Forgetting How to Pee
I was in math class when the Teacher wrote an equation on the board. 1 + 1 = ? He looked around and asked if anyone knew the answer. The entire class had their hand up except me. The Teacher looked at me. "Do you know the answer?" I shook my head. "Take a guess," … Continue reading What’s 1 + 1 again?
Me and my mate Dave (He's a bit dangerous, don't y'know?) were hangin' out in town when Dave spotted a nearby brick wall. "I dare you," Dave said. "To run into that brick wall." I looked across to it and eyed it up and down. "How much are you going to offer?" I said. I'm … Continue reading Running into a Brick Wall Dare
I was in McDonalds the other day with my mate Dave (he's a bit dangerous, don't y'know?) He told me to order the meal. So I went to the counter and there was a young teen boy serving me. Teen: Can I take your order? Me: I don't know how can you take my order? … Continue reading You Call That a Punchline?
...but instead I started this site. This website, blog-thing is gonna be awesome. I mean it is going to be the bees-knees, the dogs bollocks or whatever your expression is of awesomeness. I look forward to this journey of idiocy and psychopathy that will be unleashed through my regular updates. Eventually, I'm going to kill … Continue reading I Want To Kill People…
Thanks for joining me! Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton